Really? REALLY!?

Bah. Internet... this is ridiculous. Period. THE end.

This is my JAM!!!

Hello again Internet!

So, I don't know if you're like me or not, but I'm the kinda lady who always seems to have a theme song. ALWAYS. No matter what's going on in my life it seems like there's a song that perfectly describes how I feel.

Like that one time there was the boy from high school who used to pretend that we were besties... When really I hated his guts?? (For those of you who know the TRUE story, I actually had the BIGGEST crush on him... masked in "hatred" hahaha! Oh, those were the days) and Chris Karraba from Dashboard spoke my life story with "Don't be a liar, don't say that everything's working when everything's broken, cause you smile like a saint, but you curse like a sailor and your eyes say the joke's on me."

Or a few years later when another fella broke my heart in the 83460 and Avril and I were apparently telepathic and must've shared similar experiences cause we both felt "It's nice to know you were there,thanks for acting like you cared, and making me feel like I was the only one. It's nice to know we had it all, thanks for watching as I fall, And letting me know we were done...All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending."

OR a few years later in Utah when that guy I worked with at the magic potions place dated like every girl... BUT me! And me and the Pussycat Dolls started a club with our montera "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? "

WELL, internet! In light of my most recent situation, I think my feelings could best be described by an oldie, BUT a goodie. Yep. Found this gem on a mixed CD from my freshman year of college! It's from this CD, and it's MY ULTIMATE jam right now! "Don't call me. Don't write. Don't show up in the middle of the night. You know that, we needed, some time and space to Breathe in." Yep. There you go, he who used to be my best friend until I realized that we can't be friends like that anymore. AND, I showed you what your greatest fear (aka negative ramifications from communication) REALLY looked like. haha. I want and need some space. In the words of Dashboard, again, "This will be best for us both, in the end."

Now, now. I'm sure there are some of you that are thinking that this is not the happiest post ever. BUT, have no fear BECAUSE someday there will be a boy who does THIS...and come to my window and say "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May. I guess you'd say What can make me feel this way?My girl!" And we'll be a little bit in love... I'm waiting for that day! :)

If you Care Enough to Say it...

So, when I was in High School I used to babysit this family that had twin girls. They were about 3 when I babysat them and their older brother. Now these girls were pretty funny, and I could tell when they were passionate about something because the conversations usually went something like this. "Hannah! I HATE, HATE, HATE you!" or "You are NOT, NOT, NOT my Friend anymore!" or "Rachel, you are STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" or "I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Clifford!"

Are you noticing a pattern? My sister and I always used to laugh, because they would ALWAYS say things that they really felt 3 times! I'm noticing with myself that I've picked up on this little habit. Sometimes, you have to say something more than once. The past 2 weeks I've realized that sometimes I have to say something more than once to get my point across. Maybe the twins were on to something. I am NOT, NOT, NOT that girl. There. I said it thrice! :)

Stress

Hello internet!

So, I'm not sure who, if anyone, reads this. BUT, I'm pretty sure that it's a whole lot safer than facebook... and I really find writing cathartic, so sorry in advance if you don't want to read this. If you're looking for fluff, I guess you'll have to try another blog. Sorry!

So, Stress. I feel like I get an overly healthy dose of it. I mean dude! I look at other people and I find myself asking, what's she got to stress about?? Now, don't get me wrong, I fully recognize that everyone has trials in their lives, sometimes I just wish they had a few of mine. :) This has been a rough week. WAY Rough. I was hurt by someone I trusted, Dug out the giving up on life pants for round two. (Some of you may remember that horrible time 4 years ago when the G.U.L.P. made their initial debut. haha!) And the worst part about the whole situation is that before I was called as RSP, this kinda drama happened, I'd eat some ice cream, wear my sweat pants and within a few days I'd be all right. However... I've learned that my calling makes things exponentially more complicated. The RSP can't have a bad day. The RSP can't be bitter. The RSP (in our branch at least) apparently can't win! :) I recognize this isn't entirely true, but to some extent, it is.
Which got me to thinking. I have no reason not to be happy. I have an amazing family, a good job, a great car, solid friends, the Gospel of Jesus Christ! What more can a girl ask for?? I mean did someone I love and care about "do me dirty," yes. Is being the RSP one of the loneliest things I've ever done, yes. But then I was listening to this, and I started to bawl. Talk about a Tender Mercy! Someone understands PERFECTLY how I feel. Jesus Christ knows what I felt like last week at 2 am. He knows how it feels to be so completely alone in room full of people. He knows what it feels like to have to do something hard and seemingly impossible. What a blessing! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm going to make it! It's not going to be easy, but I deserve this. I deserve and choose to be happy. I choose to NOT let this event ruin my life, but make me into who my Heavenly Father needs me to be. And THAT is something I do NOT need to stress about. :)

The Past 50 Days of My Life... In Picture Form!

Don't worry. Some of you may have thought I had disappeared. Not the case. Life has been crazy/fantastic/stressful/amazing all in one moment. For sake of my time, which is now precious. I have taken the liberty to show you what my life has been like... in picture form. Enjoy!

I cried a little bit and wore these...

I got made the boss of this in my Singles Branch...

Now my nights look a little like this...

I found out that I get to be related to her!!


I got to go here and it was on HIT!


I met Julie Beck and she told me I was "NEAT!"

Next week, I get to see this...

with them, my FAVORITE people in the world!...

All in all... pretty fantastic!!

Raise your hand if you’ve marked THIS on your calendar!

Now, there are many of you who are aware of this guilty pleasure of mine… The Duggar Family! Yep, it’s true, I’ve been watching this family for a few years now, and really it’s like a car wreck, you don’t necessarily WANT to watch, but as you’re flipping through the channels- you can’t HELP BUT watch! For those of you who have not yet been introduced to the magic which is the Duggar Family, here’s a low-down.

Basically, there’s a family that lives in AR with their 18 children. One mom, one dad, only 2 sets of twins. AND, all the kid’s names start with the letter J. Some are a bit of a stretch, Jinger… please, but I guess they’re running out of options. So, Jim Bob and Michelle (Dad and Mom, and that IS his real name) are kind of quirky. You know those people where the girls never cut their hair or wear pants, which is NOT. MY. JAM. But it is very much the Duggar Family! While they are a bit eccentric with their polygamist wife clothing, there are some things about the family that I can’t help but give them mad props for. Mom and Dad REALLY love each other, and genuinely care about their kids, (Which is more than can be said for some parents out there.) their kids are all pretty well-behaved, AND they don’t have ANY debt.

BUT, the real reason for my post today is that on January 25^th the Duggars are bringing life changing in a MAJOR way! The eldest Duggar boy recently got married, after the world’s crappiest proposal and no pre-marital kissing and LOTS of pre-marital hand-mauling. (Homegirl’s FAVORITE past-time) You may be curious as to what hand-mauling entails exactly. Well, on account of the Duggars encouraging their children to save their first kiss and YOU KNOW until the wedding day, their children are left with no option but to hold hands… and boy do they HOLD hands! It’s like unto thoroughly washing your hand… with a partner. Pretty revolting. BUT, hand mauling aside, on January 25 TLC is showing the world Josh and Anna’s wedding in all its glory!!! You had best believe I’m going to be watching in my long denim skirt. Now if only there was a boy to maul my hand…. I’ll get right on that!

2009- I Bes Looking FLY!

So, usually every year I set the same goal for New Years- Find a boy to kiss my face at the stroke of midnight the next year. Yep, pretty sure I've had that goal since New Year's Eve 2001 (The same year that my cousin and I made a newspaper hat with an 18" picture of the naked guitarist from Blink 182 for her mom to wear- Clas-sy!)... and can I just tell you that this year was my BEST new years... to date!! No kiss at Midnight or anywhere near that time. BUT, I realized some fantastic things about myself: Like I'm SUPER fly, and I can do hard things! "Ah Ha" moment if you will!
I'm thinking that 2009 is SOO going to be my year!

**And yes, of course I made my own hat!**